“Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.”
“I will tell you my secret. It is very simple: it is only with the heart that one sees well. The essential is invisible to the eye.”
Antoine de St.Exupery, The Little Prince
This coming weekend is the Annual AIDS Memorial and I’ve been asked to speak – mostly on the historical part of HIV in Victoria (the bad old days).
Quite frankly, I have not a clue what to say…
It seems almost “unfashionable” to talk about the past these days. We have better meds, we live longer lives and we grow old with HIV. The young do not remember and many seem to think that reminding people of the past is doing the whole “movement” a disservice. We must focus on the present and the bright shiny future that awaits.
And still there is no cure.
Old and young we are all dying. HIV-positive or negative we are all dying. That’s just a simple truth. The fact that we’re dying slower than in the 80s and early 90s cannot diminish that.
We want to squeeze more and more out of our time on the planet. This is impossible and a probably ill-conceived notion. I have a theory that we are here until we’re finished: then we move on to the next life and the next until we’ve all run through all the possible permutations of what we need to learn.
I think HIV is a part of my learning this time around.
I’ve learned that people can love and people can hate. I’ve learned that an asshole with HIV continues to be an asshole (HIV does NOT make one a saint, despite popular opinion). I’ve learned that science does not trump fear (criminalization being a prime example). I’ve learned that all the Paris Declarations and Denver Principles in the world will not change the public’s mind nor decrease stigma. All the passionate arguments will fall on deaf ears until there is some tiny glimmer of enlightenment that awakens the sleeping soul.
But I’ve also learned a great deal about what’s important: compassionate people, a home, a fluffy, albeit cantankerous cat, good food and good wine, birds singing in the quiet mornings. These things are more important to me now than they ever were before. I don’t think I took them for granted, but I think I overlooked their place in my life.
And love.
Love is the most important thing of all.
When AIDS first emerged there was only fear and love. In truth there still is and always is only those two things in the entire universe. Fear is what has created the loathing and criminalization; love is what will dispel the myths and misconceptions. Fear is what creates discrimination and stigma and only love can alter that bleak landscape and colour it with blooms. Fear is what keeps those of us living with this virus from standing up and speaking out in very public ways, and love is the only thing that can change our minds and hearts that way.
So what will I talk about? I still have no idea.
But in the end, whatever I say in that short span of time at that small and insignificant microphone, it will be about love.
